Mam-O-gram

Mammogram. Sounds like Hattie McDaniel ought to be standing at my door with a birthday message. It's a ridiculous word for a procedure that can only be described as awkward and uncomfortable. It's a necessary procedure for those of us in the over 40 crowd, and it definitely saves lives, but dang, I hate getting one.  That's why I put off getting one for almost 3 years...2010 was my last one.

I finally made an appointment for one this past Saturday, inspired by my friend Kirsten who has had a recent diagnosis of breast cancer, surgeries, and is now starting chemo.

I went in, did the thing, and at the end, the tech asked for one more view.  When it was over, I went on my merry way and didn't give it another thought.

Until yesterday, when I received a message from the Patient Navigator.

I don't get cell service in my classroom. Our school building is a concrete bunker; nothing gets in or out. So I didn't receive the call during office hours. I checked messages as I was leaving, at 3:45. I called the office back, thinking I might catch her before she left, but got an answering machine. So I left a message and drove home, vaguely wondering what a Patient Navigator is.

Later last night, when I had a little time and the kids were in bed, I looked up "patient navigator" on the SAHC website.  I was a little shocked when I saw, "Our Patient Navigator is a healthcare professional who is available to guide you and your family through the entire process of diagnosis and treatment at Saint Anthony’s Health Center. The Patient Navigator is a single point of contact who will be there with you every step of the way — to assist with scheduling initial tests and consultations, as well as collaborate with members of the medical team to ensure information is current and understood by all of the physicians, nurses and other team members. Patient Navigators help each patient and family members understand his or her cancer diagnosis and plan of care."

Woah. diagnosis and treatment of cancer? Holy cow, that's a punch in the gut. Of course, my brain went into overdrive. Then I realized, she calls everyone after a mammogram. Right? Just to let them know the results are normal. Right? I called the hospital to ask that very question, and the girl on the phone assured me that she most likely probably does call everyone. Well good, now I could sleep.

And sleep I did, like a baby. As a matter of fact, I didn't give it another thought until about 1:45 this afternoon.  I called the patient navigator office, ready to hear that my mammogram was normal and to schedule next year's screening.

Only, no.

Evidently, the findings were abnormal, and they need me to come in for some "additional views."

Not a problem, I say, I'm available before 7:30 in the  morning and after 4:00 in the afternoon.  When can I come in? No, that won't work, because they need to do it when "the whole team is present."  You know, just in case they need to do further testing immediately. Oh holy hell. So we schedule the appointment for this coming Friday at 10:30, right in the middle of a work day (a field trip day, at that...principals love to hear that you won't be there for your class' field trip).  Now I will wait and pray and hope it's a harmless calcification or some other thing that will make me think writing this post was a waste of time.