Sitting in the parking lot, waiting for D. I feel ill. I don't want to weigh in front of him. I feel like such a failure...such a loser. Hate myself completely right now. Just being perfectly honest.
When he gets here, I will lie and make jokes and act like it's no big deal, but this is about to kill me. Ugh.
Oh, how I can relate to this. The feelings of failure, the self-hate, and the lying and making jokes. That's so me.
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